Rotterdam NY...the people's voice http://www.rotterdamny.info http://www.eblah.com en Best Divorce Letter Ever! http://www.rotterdamny.infom-1223607002/ http://www.rotterdamny.infom-1223607002/#num1 Best Divorce Letter Ever!

Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.  I've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.  You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me any more; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

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Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.  I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.  I DID notice when
you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!'  Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and  felt we could work it out.  So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica , but when I got home you were gone.  Everything happens for a reason, I guess.  I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.  My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Your Ex-Wife, Rich as Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a  problem.]]> Thu, 9 Oct 2008 22:50:02 JoAnn Where are the Americans? http://www.rotterdamny.infom-1223419465/ http://www.rotterdamny.infom-1223419465/#num1

The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America.."


The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America!"


That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East.  I am not American."

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"


She says, "No, I am from Africa."


Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"


The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."]]> Tue, 7 Oct 2008 18:44:25 MobileTerminal LOL - The Daily Gazette http://www.rotterdamny.infom-1222401638/ http://www.rotterdamny.infom-1222401638/#num1
Quoted Text
ALBANY — The Daily Gazette was among four newspapers honored Thursday night as Newspapers of Distinction by the New York State Associated Press Association.

The Gazette, the Journal of Ithaca, the Post-Standard of Syracuse and Newsday of Long Island were judged the best newspapers in their respective circulation categories. The entire newspaper was judged in this competition.

The NYSAPA is one of the oldest and most competitive journalistic competitions for daily newspapers in the state. This year’s contest was judged by panels of journalists from out of state. The writing contest drew 722 entries, the photo contest 524 entries and the graphics competition 201.


http://dailygazette.com/news/2008/sep/25/0925_wewin/


This HAS to be placed in the joke section .... it CANT be real]]> Fri, 26 Sep 2008 00:00:38 MobileTerminal Sex, immigration style http://www.rotterdamny.infom-1222391973/ http://www.rotterdamny.infom-1222391973/#num1 An illegal immigrant picks up a hooker. 'Hey, how much you charge for da hour, sister?' he asks.
'$100,' she replies.

In broken English he says 'Do you do Immigrant Style?'
'No' she says.

'I pay you $200 to do Immigrant Style.'

'No', she says, not knowing what Immigrant Style is.

'I pay you $300.'

'No', she says.

'I pay you $400.'

'No', she says.

So finally he says, 'OK, I pay $1,000 to do Immigrant Style.'

She thinks, 'Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've had every kind of request from weirdos from every part of the world. How bad could Immigrant Style be?''.

So she agrees and has sex with him. They do it in every kind of way and in every possible position. Finally, after several hours, they finish.
Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, 'Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. But that was good. So what exactly is 'Immigrant Style'?'

The illegal immigrant replies 'You send bill to Government.'
/ ]]> Thu, 25 Sep 2008 21:19:33 bumblethru The worlds shortest psychiatric joke http://www.rotterdamny.infom-1222391637/ http://www.rotterdamny.infom-1222391637/#num1
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made
of Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist says, 'Well...I can clearly see your
nuts.'

]]> Thu, 25 Sep 2008 21:13:57 bumblethru