> The TAXATION DEPARTMENT decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to
> the Taxation Office.
>
> The Taxation Office Auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with
> his solicitor.
>
> The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
> full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money
> gambling. I'm not sure the Taxation Department finds that believable.'
>
> I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a
> demonstration?'
>
> The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
>
> Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
>
> The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
>
> Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
>
> Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
> other eye.'
>
> Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
>
> Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
>
> The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with
> Grandpa's solicitor as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
>
> 'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand
> dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
> wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
>
> The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
> decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he
> agrees again.
>
> Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
> strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the
> other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
>
> The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss
> into a huge win.
>
> But Grandpa's own solicitor moans and puts his head in his hands.
>
> 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
>
> 'Not really,' says the solicitor. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd
> been summoned for an audit, he bet me fifty thousand dollars that he could
> come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'