The next time someone asks you a dumb question, wouldn't you like to respond like
this?......
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog
chow for Buster at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman
behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I
told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the
Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before
I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of
my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that
it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to
load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry and that the foo d is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that
practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because
the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff
an Irish Setter's a** and a car hit us both. I thought the guy
behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
Wal-Mart prefers I don't shop there anymore. |
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