This Explains It All
Recent weather and gasoline issues are proof of the
existence of a new chemical element. Research has led
to the
discovery of the heaviest element yet known to
science.
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one
neutron, 25
assistant neutrons,88 deputy neutrons and 198
assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces
called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like
particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert;
however,
it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction
with which
it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a
reaction that
would normally take less than a second to anywhere
from four
days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of two to six
years; It
does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization
in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
exchange
places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually
increase over
time, since each reorganization will cause more morons
to become
neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of
moron
promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is
formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
critical
morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium
becomes
Administratium, an element that radiates just as much
energy as
Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but
twice as many
morons!
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